Someone shoot me, or give me a poison Snickers or something

This job is kiiiiilling me. Honestly, I can not survive getting up at 4 AM any longer. Betsy gets up at 3:30 because she likes to shower in the morning instead of in the evening like I do. She's nuts. At first I thought I was lucky that the work was so easy, but now I realize that I prefer labor that involves more skill than pressing the number '6' and the Enter key over and over and over again until I feel my finger-tips are about to fall off. Keyboard fatigue, it's an ugly thing.

Everyone agrees that ours are the most useless positions in the universe and that we are practically robbing Allstate by actually taking money for what we do. Well, it is mind-numbing. Maybe they're paying us for the pain and suffering! The most interesting part of the day was our lunch half-hour (an hour would be too long of a break from the six enter six enter six enter stuff) in which Annette, Betsy and I had an in-depth conversation about how they could train apes to do what we do. Maybe I will buy an ape, bring him to the office, and have him do the work while I sit there reading National Review. Except, I let my subscription lapse. Dang it. I guess I'll have to make do with my brother's old copies of Nintendo Power. Now, I just have to find a place where I can buy an ape ...