Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The Voices in My Head

BAD ANGEL: I know you saw it.

GOOD ANGEL: I didn't see anything.

BAD ANGEL: The sheet of paper stuck on the bulletin board in Porter Hall. It says that Alden Library is having their fall quarter book sale starting Thursday! Jackpot!

GOOD ANGEL: No, it's not.

BAD ANGEL: No?

GOOD ANGEL: No. We have no money.

BAD ANGEL: Yes, we do. She has about 500 smackers on her debit card.

GOOD ANGEL: She needs that money for the rest of the school year! For textbooks! For emergencies! For living!

BAD ANGEL: Well, she can ask her parents for help if she gets in a jam. Twenty dollars here, twenty dollars there won't make much of a difference.

GOOD ANGEL: She spent twenty dollars this last weekend. She can't keep this up.

BAD ANGEL: But think of what a great deal the sales are! So much cheaper than you would get at a bookstore! After skimming through a few hardbacks she can act all intellectual and hoity-toity! This is an invaluable opportunity!

GOOD ANGEL: I'm only thinking of what's best for her in the long run.

BAD ANGEL: Liar! You want to deprive her of classic, cheaply-available literature! You're a fiend!

GOOD ANGEL: No, YOU ARE. Literally.

BAD ANGEL: Whatever.

GOOD ANGEL: Well ... Let's admit that this is a prudential matter rather than a choice between good and evil.

IMPRUDENT ANGEL: As you like it.

PRUDENT ANGEL: If I have anything to do with it, she is not going to spend money on unnecessary books.

IMPRUDENT ANGEL: But she waaaaaants to.

PRUDENT ANGEL: She also waaaaants to hunt down the mathematician who wrote her Stats book and strangle him.

IMPRUDENT ANGEL: They could be selling a copy of the Summa, with commentary, and you would have her miss it.

PRUDENT ANGEL: MONEY MUST BE SAVED. THINK OF THE STARVING CHILDREN IN DJIBOUTI AND HOW SHE SHOULD BE SENDING THEM FOOD INSTEAD OF FERRETING OUT A WATERSTAINED DOSTOEVSKY.

IMPRUDENT ANGEL: Wellllll ... How about this: We'll just go and look at what they've got on offer. And if it's any good, we'll buy it. And if the selection stinks, we won't buy anything.

PRUDENT ANGEL: Deal. I'm tired.

(IMPRUDENT ANGEL, to self): He he he, what he doesn't know is that my definition of "good" includes trashy 70s era romance novels with sticky Hawaiian Punch-stained pages !


Another loss for good ... I mean, prudence. Another loss for my wallet!

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