Saturday: Cold
Sunday: Cold
Monday: Colder than you thought possible, so cold that you begin to have delusional thoughts that you are warm
Tuesday: Cold
Wednesday: Cold and partly cloudy, with just enough blue sky for you to look up and feel mocked by the sun
Global warming, wherefore art thou called warming, when these last few winters have been really terrible?
Blessing identified... I have a job that is probably not going anywhere. The U.S. unemployment rate rose shockingly in November to 6.7 percent. Now I am told by reliable sources that the rate in European places like Spain is even higher, like 12 percent - but we are not used to these sort of problems in the USA! You can sense how anxious and upset everyone is. My father who works as a consultant with banks came home from a business trip recently and told us that the guy he was talking to said we were headed for quite a depression, that the full degree of how bad things are is being kept from us to prevent panic. I think that is hyperbole, myself. But who knows how bad it will get... then again other people say the worst is over.
Spiritually speaking I am in the same funk I have been for the longest time. Now that I think about it, it has been going on about two years. I believe the key is that I am lazy, what is that fancy Greek word for spiritually lazy? I go to Confession fairly frequently (once a month) and I never miss Mass, but otherwise I am quite the slacker. I give in to temptation so easily and I resist grace so well. It is Advent and whether it be Advent or Lent I always make promises to myself and to Jesus that this holy season, I am finally going to start praying on a daily basis again, I am going to start going to daily Mass again, to Adoration again. And it never comes off. So I wonder if it is worthwhile to even make the promise, which I am fairly sure will not be kept. I am just tired of being a sinner! My dearest own Jesus, I want to want to be close to you. Please kindle in my heart that desire. Amen.
Showing posts with label current existensial crisis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label current existensial crisis. Show all posts
Friday, December 05, 2008
Friday, September 14, 2007
Update
Things that have happened since I blogged last:
1. I joined the legions of people whose identities have been stolen. As far as I can tell the damage was limited to a $1,700 charge at a restaurant in Naples, Florida, which the good people of American Express have taken off my card. Fun.
2. It was announced that my department at Allstate is being shipped to points west - Wyoming, New Mexico, and Arizona, to be precise. VERY fun. It won't happen for about fourteen months, they'll give us three months notice of our exact end date and the severance package is of course generous, which will be awesome for paying off my debts. And I didn't like my job, anyway. But, ack, all the same.
3. I have hit a large pothole, which I have identified as spiritual sloth. Please pray that I snap out of it. Eternal consequences, spitting out of the lukewarm, etc. etc.
But God is still very good and I am very blessed. Praise be to the Lord Jesus Christ :)
1. I joined the legions of people whose identities have been stolen. As far as I can tell the damage was limited to a $1,700 charge at a restaurant in Naples, Florida, which the good people of American Express have taken off my card. Fun.
2. It was announced that my department at Allstate is being shipped to points west - Wyoming, New Mexico, and Arizona, to be precise. VERY fun. It won't happen for about fourteen months, they'll give us three months notice of our exact end date and the severance package is of course generous, which will be awesome for paying off my debts. And I didn't like my job, anyway. But, ack, all the same.
3. I have hit a large pothole, which I have identified as spiritual sloth. Please pray that I snap out of it. Eternal consequences, spitting out of the lukewarm, etc. etc.
But God is still very good and I am very blessed. Praise be to the Lord Jesus Christ :)
Saturday, November 18, 2006
So...
I'm sitting here in the library typing up my exit memo for Southeast Ohio magazine (the winter issue is in the can and will be going to press soon) and I realized: This is my last college assignment. It could be my last school assignment, ever, if I don't get a graduate assistantship at KSU. Did that ever turn on the tears! I am going to miss being a student so much.
The truth is that I hate, hate, HATE change. When I first arrived in Athens three years and three months ago, I loathed the place. I didn't know anybody, or the city; I had to come out of my shell ever-so-slightly; I was a "baby" revert Catholic who hadn't been Confirmed and who hadn't been to Confession in years; I had to make sure to perform exceptionally well academically, if I wanted to have any prayer of getting into the Scripps School. A few years later, I've made great friends, I love Athens, and I'm even sort of getting a kick out of my journalism and academic work. I do adjust to things well. But at the beginning of every new change, I get that kicked-in-the-gut, I-just-want-to-crawl-back-in-bed feeling. That is what I've got, now. Pray for me, please :)
I do have non-angsty, non-emo news to share, ha ha. Last weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a Fan into Flame retreat with some of my friends from Catholic Student Outreach. It was essentially a Catholic charismatic retreat, complete with praise & worship music, "expressive" prayer, and people being baptized in the Holy Spirit and praying in tongues, etc. I enjoyed myself very much, not to mention that I think it was very beneficial for me, spiritually. It was wonderful to see so many young people so in love with the Faith.
I have to say that the charismatic culture is definitely Not My Style. I am very much a traditionalist - bring on the Latin, the chant, the incense and contemplative prayer, please! But I now have greater respect for the charismatic movement within the Catholic Church. The majority seem very orthodox, and many are considering religious vocations. I already had my "conversion experience" years ago, and it happened in a much more conventional, traditional way; nevertheless, I can see how someone who has never had that... for lack of a better term, "born again" experience in their lives could really latch on to the charismatic movement (there is always the danger, of course, of one's religious life becoming entirely emotion-based, but
many of the people I have spoken to seem aware of such possible pitfalls). It's not for me, but if it helps other Catholics grow in their faith, then more power to them.
On Wednesday night I attended The Post's winter quarter All Staff meeting, and I received a number of awards: Best Columnist, Most Improved Copy Editor, etc. Then the editors (who know I am graduating) gave me a mock-up of a front page of the paper. The headline was "Spirituality Columnist Leaves On Top." The "news stories" were all little notes from people on staff congratulating me and telling me I did a good job. It was the sweetest thing ever. As my Copy Chief, Jeff Smith said, "This is turning into a love fest for Maggie Kostendt." I am wondering to myself if they gave me all of those awards just because they knew I was leaving and they wished to make a big show, or because I really deserved them. My roommate Jenn says it was probably a combination of both ;)
Anyway, I really appreciated it. If I ever win the lotto, I will make sure to earmark some of the cash for the betterment of The Post's news operation (not that they'll need it for a while, what with them getting a fancy new high-tech newsroom in the brand-new student center. Incidentally, the Editor in Chief announced that the members of the staff are getting raises for next quarter - I would leave just before the money train arrives.).
All of this was the "news" I mentioned in the blog post below - I finally caught a minute to write!
Oh,and my finals went all right, but I am freaking out a bit over whether I am going to keep my GPA above 3.8 - I really don't want to have to update my resume. Ora pro me St. Jude.
The truth is that I hate, hate, HATE change. When I first arrived in Athens three years and three months ago, I loathed the place. I didn't know anybody, or the city; I had to come out of my shell ever-so-slightly; I was a "baby" revert Catholic who hadn't been Confirmed and who hadn't been to Confession in years; I had to make sure to perform exceptionally well academically, if I wanted to have any prayer of getting into the Scripps School. A few years later, I've made great friends, I love Athens, and I'm even sort of getting a kick out of my journalism and academic work. I do adjust to things well. But at the beginning of every new change, I get that kicked-in-the-gut, I-just-want-to-crawl-back-in-bed feeling. That is what I've got, now. Pray for me, please :)
I do have non-angsty, non-emo news to share, ha ha. Last weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a Fan into Flame retreat with some of my friends from Catholic Student Outreach. It was essentially a Catholic charismatic retreat, complete with praise & worship music, "expressive" prayer, and people being baptized in the Holy Spirit and praying in tongues, etc. I enjoyed myself very much, not to mention that I think it was very beneficial for me, spiritually. It was wonderful to see so many young people so in love with the Faith.
I have to say that the charismatic culture is definitely Not My Style. I am very much a traditionalist - bring on the Latin, the chant, the incense and contemplative prayer, please! But I now have greater respect for the charismatic movement within the Catholic Church. The majority seem very orthodox, and many are considering religious vocations. I already had my "conversion experience" years ago, and it happened in a much more conventional, traditional way; nevertheless, I can see how someone who has never had that... for lack of a better term, "born again" experience in their lives could really latch on to the charismatic movement (there is always the danger, of course, of one's religious life becoming entirely emotion-based, but
many of the people I have spoken to seem aware of such possible pitfalls). It's not for me, but if it helps other Catholics grow in their faith, then more power to them.
On Wednesday night I attended The Post's winter quarter All Staff meeting, and I received a number of awards: Best Columnist, Most Improved Copy Editor, etc. Then the editors (who know I am graduating) gave me a mock-up of a front page of the paper. The headline was "Spirituality Columnist Leaves On Top." The "news stories" were all little notes from people on staff congratulating me and telling me I did a good job. It was the sweetest thing ever. As my Copy Chief, Jeff Smith said, "This is turning into a love fest for Maggie Kostendt." I am wondering to myself if they gave me all of those awards just because they knew I was leaving and they wished to make a big show, or because I really deserved them. My roommate Jenn says it was probably a combination of both ;)
Anyway, I really appreciated it. If I ever win the lotto, I will make sure to earmark some of the cash for the betterment of The Post's news operation (not that they'll need it for a while, what with them getting a fancy new high-tech newsroom in the brand-new student center. Incidentally, the Editor in Chief announced that the members of the staff are getting raises for next quarter - I would leave just before the money train arrives.).
All of this was the "news" I mentioned in the blog post below - I finally caught a minute to write!
Oh,and my finals went all right, but I am freaking out a bit over whether I am going to keep my GPA above 3.8 - I really don't want to have to update my resume. Ora pro me St. Jude.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Emerging from the cocoon...
Of warm, fuzzy student-hood.
Well, it's not really that pleasant, but I'm starting to get the... hard swallow... melancholies about bidding adieu to my fair Athens. *Sniffle.* I have really loved my time here. The Appalachian foothills are beautiful this time of year, what with all the leaves changing; the beauty certainly conceals the fact that for miles and miles in every direction there isn't... much... of anything... besides... trees. But really I haven't minded life in the middle of nowhere. I'm not a "city girl" at all; I certainly don't pine for the night life!
Here's a link to my latest column - a bit of a dud. And I can tell because when it's a good column, I get e-mails from my readers. Thus far, nada!
Also, it seems the copy staff messed up a bit on it. See if you can tell where; look for the sentence that doesn't really make sense. I missed it, too, the first time I read it after publication... ;)
Well, it's not really that pleasant, but I'm starting to get the... hard swallow... melancholies about bidding adieu to my fair Athens. *Sniffle.* I have really loved my time here. The Appalachian foothills are beautiful this time of year, what with all the leaves changing; the beauty certainly conceals the fact that for miles and miles in every direction there isn't... much... of anything... besides... trees. But really I haven't minded life in the middle of nowhere. I'm not a "city girl" at all; I certainly don't pine for the night life!
Here's a link to my latest column - a bit of a dud. And I can tell because when it's a good column, I get e-mails from my readers. Thus far, nada!
Also, it seems the copy staff messed up a bit on it. See if you can tell where; look for the sentence that doesn't really make sense. I missed it, too, the first time I read it after publication... ;)
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Good news, bad news
The good news is as follows: I found out that my five last columns have been picked up by U-Wire, which is the wire service for college media. I am now available in syndication ;) According to my editor, our board in The Post has a nice big sign congratulating me, but I have yet to nip in to the newsroom to see it. Of course, now I will start obsessing over whether each of my remaining (three?) columns is good enough and will be picked up.
I'm not sure how I find out where, and if, any other paper published my work. I would love to see it in The Daily Princetonian, for instance, but somehow I doubt that's going to happen!
The bad news is that the wringing of hands over what I am going to do with my life is still in full swing. I have gotten a bit better about trusting God, but I am still a little anxious. Confession tonight helped - my pastor is such a wonderful confessor! As a penance, he told me to pray the Hail Mary, very slowly. It's amazing what profound meaning each word of that prayer has when you really slow down and consider it.
As always, please ora pro me!
I'm not sure how I find out where, and if, any other paper published my work. I would love to see it in The Daily Princetonian, for instance, but somehow I doubt that's going to happen!
The bad news is that the wringing of hands over what I am going to do with my life is still in full swing. I have gotten a bit better about trusting God, but I am still a little anxious. Confession tonight helped - my pastor is such a wonderful confessor! As a penance, he told me to pray the Hail Mary, very slowly. It's amazing what profound meaning each word of that prayer has when you really slow down and consider it.
As always, please ora pro me!
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Let the rain come down
I promised myself I wouldn't title this post with lyrics from a bad pop song. It looks like I lied to myself, oops!
Athens, Ohio received a direct hit from a nasty storm last night, the night on which I had my late night with The Post's copy staff. Today's was a twelve page paper, too - only the second time so far this year that we've been that big, I believe. However, my fervent praying (which, to be honest, was more like whining) obtained for me the miracle of being sent home at 12:30, instead of ye olde 2:00 in the morning.
In other journalism news, I was appointed to lead one of three teams of copy editors at Southeast Ohio Magazine. This will mean slightly more work, but hopefully double the resume umph.
I am going to come right out and ask for prayers from my little readership. As you know, I'm going to be graduating at Thanksgiving time, and will no longer have my reliable "student" status to get me discounts, the forbearance of adults, and an identity. I will, however, have a magnum cum laude bachelor's degree from the Scripps School, and about $6,000 in debt.
I am considering going to grad school, but only if I can get it all paid for by the university; I am thinking about applying for some editing jobs, and for a government position; I am worrying about my vocation and wondering if by doing any of the above I would just be putting off what God wants from me. All in all, preparing to leave the undergraduate world is just as confusing as I thought it would be. I wanna be a freshman again :(
All whining aside, I would appreciate it if you would pray that I am able to figure out my life, preferably in the next five to six weeks. Bit of a tight schedule, I know :)
What am I forgetting? Oh, that's right, my latest for The Post, on Our Lady of Guadalupe. It's very inoffensive and non-controversial, and I wrote it two hours before my deadline. Tisk, tisk.
Athens, Ohio received a direct hit from a nasty storm last night, the night on which I had my late night with The Post's copy staff. Today's was a twelve page paper, too - only the second time so far this year that we've been that big, I believe. However, my fervent praying (which, to be honest, was more like whining) obtained for me the miracle of being sent home at 12:30, instead of ye olde 2:00 in the morning.
In other journalism news, I was appointed to lead one of three teams of copy editors at Southeast Ohio Magazine. This will mean slightly more work, but hopefully double the resume umph.
I am going to come right out and ask for prayers from my little readership. As you know, I'm going to be graduating at Thanksgiving time, and will no longer have my reliable "student" status to get me discounts, the forbearance of adults, and an identity. I will, however, have a magnum cum laude bachelor's degree from the Scripps School, and about $6,000 in debt.
I am considering going to grad school, but only if I can get it all paid for by the university; I am thinking about applying for some editing jobs, and for a government position; I am worrying about my vocation and wondering if by doing any of the above I would just be putting off what God wants from me. All in all, preparing to leave the undergraduate world is just as confusing as I thought it would be. I wanna be a freshman again :(
All whining aside, I would appreciate it if you would pray that I am able to figure out my life, preferably in the next five to six weeks. Bit of a tight schedule, I know :)
What am I forgetting? Oh, that's right, my latest for The Post, on Our Lady of Guadalupe. It's very inoffensive and non-controversial, and I wrote it two hours before my deadline. Tisk, tisk.
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