Happy Birthday To Me

Well, today was the big Two Oh. I don't feel twenty. I feel alternately five years and eighty years old, depending on my mood.

Lots of people were gone this weekend. Tonight I went and had pizza dinner with Lyndsey and Jimmy. Lyndsey is always such a sweetheart, she insisted on paying for it. Gawwwww, I have nice friends! Jenn gave me a bag ... of CHOCOLATE. Chocolate, my one true love! ;)

I went to Adoration tonight, but for some reason I had a terrible time trying to concentrate. Of course, the efficacy of prayer is not based on how one "feels," but still, it's very uncomfortable to be sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament and feel so dry.

I have got a lot of work still left to do, and it seems to be taking forever. Would anybody like to write an annotated bibliography for me? On Social Security reform? The single most boring topic conceived of by professors with political axes to grind?

Interestingly, I find myself rapidly losing interest in politics. It used to be my main hobby. I think more and more I realize that Christ is not well contained in any temporal political program, be it conservative or liberal, Republican or Democrat. "Duh!" shouts most any serious Christian. But you have to understand, I was not raised to be a Catholic. My formation was as a conservative Republican - where the agendas of the party and the Church meet, I am extremely comfortable. Where there are differences, I am extremely uncomfortable. What does this discomfort mean? It does not mean that the Church is incorrect in her teaching. Rather, it suggests to me that I still have a long way to travel on the road to Damascus. That is, my continual conversion is still necessary, even if not particularly convenient or comfortable - a great deal of work remains for the Lord to accomplish within my soul.

How I love Google image search.



St. Peter's Basilica.

What a loverly, loverly birthday

Technically my birthday is not 'till April 30. But my friends went and SURPRISED me tonight with a party, complete with cake and gifties! I got a Pope Innocent III action figure from Leslie - he was the Pope whose Fourth Lateran Council defined the all-important doctrine of Transubstantiation. According to the box, his "weapon of choice" is excommunication. Lauren gave me a statue of ... drumroll ... a nun! A very pale nun, with a place in the bottom where you can put in sand. Apparently it's a "Garden Nun!" Very peculiar, he he he! No one does kitsch like Catholics ;) Lyndsey gave me a pretty pink shirt, which I am going to wear tomorrow, and new matching flip-flops! I also got a pretty card from Jenn, and cake cake cake! And a copy of John Paul's last book, Memory and Identity, from Leslie! And a silly umbrella-hat! And recipe cards "from" Lauren-next-door ;)

They even bought me some milk to have with my cake.

Awwwwww, I love my friends. They are all so good to me :)

It is going to take me a while to get used to saying, "I'm 20." Oh well, I have two more days to get used to it ... Then, as they say, the guillotine fallllls! With a shattering crash!

What a lovely birthday party ...

Most interesting

This one made me feel so sad. Poor Benedict! He really did have a rotten job ... Reported from CWN:

A confidential but highly detailed document on the situation of the Church -- and especially the situation inside the Church -- circulated among the cardinals over the past few days, making a vivid impression and probably contributing indirectly to the choice of Joseph Ratzinger as the successor of Pope John Paul II. "I put my hand here after reading it, because I was afraid my heart would give out on me," one cardinal told us. It is an unsigned document, consisting of about ten sub-parts, which provides a picture of the situation of the clergy in various countries of the world, particularly Europe, Africa, and North America. We were not told who the author was, but certainly it was someone viewing the Church situation from a privileged vantage point, and very much an insider's one.

The "lack of integrity" of too many priests is put in stark relief: violation of the rules of celibacy, obviously, but not only that; problems tied to money, problems with the use of the faithful's contributions, and problems concerning the confessional as well. One example cited was the case of two young priests, guilty of violating the secrecy of the confessional and for that reason reduced to the lay state for thirty years by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. "Time was when the secrecy of the confessional was an impregnable rampart," remarked the aforementioned cardinal. It is likely that this document was the basis for then-Cardinal Ratzinger's seemingly harsh interventions.

...

Two days later, near the Vatican, Cardinal Ratzinger met on the street a retired curial monsignor who asked him the reason for giving what seemed a discouraging reflection. "We must pray much, we must pray much," answered Benedict XVI, "You weren't born yesterday; you understand what I'm talking about; you know what it means -- We priests! We priests!" he concluded in a tone of pleading, adding, "Remember the prayer to the Sacred Heart, in which we ask particular pardon for the sins of priests. I know it hurts to say the boat's taking in water from every side, but it's true, it's true. We priests ..."

Struck by the manner in which Ratzinger said, "we priests, we priests," the monsignor recognized his inner suffering and asked him nothing further.

Ha ha, the Holy Father likes to kid around in German. And apparently, he really, really didn't want the papacy.From the AP:

VATICAN CITY (AP) Pope Benedict XVI said Monday he had viewed the idea of being elected pope as a "guillotine," and he prayed to God during the recent conclave to be spared selection but "evidently this time, he didn't listen to me."

For the first time since his election, Benedict shed light on his feelings inside the conclave during an audience with fellow Germans.

Speaking in his native tongue, Benedict told the audience that at one point during the conclave, when it became clear he was garnering many votes, a fellow cardinal slipped him a note reminding him what he had preached before the conclave about Christ calling Peter to follow him even where he did not want to go.

Benedict, 78, said he had hoped to spend his last years living quietly and peacefully.

"As the trend in the ballots slowly made me realize that — in a manner of speaking the guillotine would fall on me — I started to feel quite dizzy," a smiling Benedict said, clearly joking. "I thought that I had done my life's work and could now hope to live out my days in peace. I told the Lord with deep conviction, 'Don't do this to me.'"

He recalled saying to God in his prayers: "You have younger, better, more enthusiastic and energetic candidates."

"Evidently, this time He didn't listen to me," Benedict said.

The former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was elected pope April 19 after four rounds of balloting in 24 hours, one of the fastest elections in a century. He went into the conclave a leading candidate, but at 78 he was considered old to be named pope.

Benedict was interrupted several times by applause and cheering during the audience, and he seemed to enjoy the welcome from his countrymen, smiling and chuckling occasionally. When he first arrived in the audience hall, he received a hero's welcome, shaking the pilgrims' hands and blessing a child handed to him.

...

At the start of the audience, Benedict apologized to the crowds for arriving late, explaining that a meeting with religious leaders who attended his inauguration Mass ran long.

"The Germans are used to punctuality," he joked. "I'm already very Italian."

Annoying annoying annoying

If there is one thing I CAN NOT stand, it is t-shirts with Che Guevara's face on them. They are, of course, very popular on college campuses like mine.

I know, I know. Che is supposed to be the universal symbol for youthful revolution, idealism, rebellion against authority, Motorcycle Diaries, blah blah blah. But I get the distinct impression that the college kids who wear Che's ugly mug don't actually know what he did. I'm not talking about the fact that he was a Communist - that's bad enough for me, but this is Ohio University, after all ;) I'm talking about Che's infamous Cuban concentration camps, where he imprisoned and executed everyone from homosexuals to youths who were caught listening to "Yankee Imperialist" rock music. Does anybody bother to read history anymore? Or do they just think to themselves, oh boy, that's chic! I'm gonna buy that and wear it! What is even more amusing is that I always seem to see Che's face on shirts belonging to white-bread, upper-middle class undergraduates, who would probably sit down and cry if someone took away the "system" that is providing them, via their parents' pocket-books, with cars, cell phones, designer labels and cash for booze.

Sorry for the rant. I'm trying to avoid studying for my psychology exam, and as you can tell, I'm being very, very successful.

Papa Benedetto has been busy

He was inaugurated yesterday - he recieved the pallium and the Fisherman's Ring;



The day before, he granted an audience to the world's press;





And finally ... I just had to post this picture; what a cute little boy he was!

Well, that stank

I slept through the morning Masses offered at St. Paul's today - I think it had something to do with getting up at four to watch the papal inauguration and then going back to sleep - and so I had to go to the 6:15 at CTK. The Bishop was the celebrant.

It was just awful - they had these weird crouton things for Hosts; I am pretty sure it was leavened bread. It was wheaten, however, so I'm going to assume it was valid matter. Really strange - I drank some of the Precious Blood, which was definitely red wine, just in case ... The parish priest didn't concelebrate. He sat in the pews in his collar, and when the time came to distribute Communion, he didn't join His Excellency; he went up and received from one of the EMHCs.

Incidentally, I saw this parish on Public Access television last year; I remember thinking what an ugly building it was. I walked in this evening, and lo and behold! I recognized it almost immediately! No windows! The tabernacle was stuck in a "chapel" sort of thing in the rear; we sat with our backs to it. The pews and kneelers were very comfortable, I'll give them that. Almost too comfortable, lol!

The music was also terrible. Guitars, guitars, guitars. There was also this weird anti-Benedict sentiment. The Bishop's homily was all about how, even though it might be hard, we have to "heroically" accept the new Holy Father, whom he referred to derisively as "this German theologian." Very ... Not good. Bad. And here I thought our Bishop was one of the good guys! Maybe he was just playing to the University crowd. The general intentions included a prayer for "anyone in the Catholic community who is worried or anxious." About what? It was said in the context of prayers for the Pope ... Ah. Maybe I'm reading too much into this.

Sigh ... I am very spoiled at St. Paul's.

Horrors!

Jonah Goldberg has a column on National Review Online that discloses a horrible fact about everyone's beloved blue monster: The Cookie Monster. Now, who is the Cookie Monster? A monster, who eats, loves, adores cookies. This, Mr. Goldberg points out, should be obvious.

But not according to the well-meaning social engineers of PBS. After three decades, they’ve announced he’s not a Cookie Monster at all. In the interests of teaching kids not to be gluttons, CTW [Children's Television Workshop] has transformed Cookie Monster into just another monster who happens to like cookies. His trademark song, “C is for Cookie” has been changed to “A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food.” And this is a complete and total reversal of Cookie Monster’s ontology, his telos, his raison d’etre, his essential Cookie-Monster-ness.

"A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food?" What!? Way to destroy all that is good and decent. Seriously, why, why, why would they mess with the C is for cookie song? The jerks! Why?

If the Cookie Monster is no longer a cookie monster, what is he? Why didn’t they just name him “Phil: The Monster Who Sometimes Likes to Eat a Cookie”? Conceptually, this is no different than the idiot animal rights types who want their dogs and cats to be vegans, too. Cookie Monster cannot help being a Cookie Monster any more than your tabby can stop liking fish. It is their nature to do so. Why not just declare that Big Bird is now an elm tree? If the ineffable, inexorable, immutable nature of Cookie Monster’s cookie-eating can be erased for some good cause, why should Big Bird’s birdness be safe?

Whyyyyy?

Sesame Street and its defenders say they are just trying to do their bit in the war against child obesity. That’s nice. But at what price? The whole point of the Cookie Monster character was to have a character who was silly because he ate so much. If Cookie Monster were a Greek god, he’d be the god of gluttony. Wouldn’t it have been more honest and simply better to implore kids not to be too much like the Cookie Monster rather than make the Cookie Monster like everyone else? We all understand we shouldn’t be like Oscar the Grouch.

Who says that making Cookie Monster into moderate eater will improve kids' behavior anyway? Indeed, for years, Cookie Monster has devoured not only cookies, but things which merely look like cookies, including plates, Frisbees, and the moon. If Cookie Monster is so influential, why haven’t I heard more about kids going to the hospital after trying to eat plates?

Very good point. Even I, who in my childhood had a distinct tendancy to place every object I came across into my mouth, never tried to eat a Frisbee. ;)

See the whole article by Jonah Goldberg here.

Deluge

That's what it is tonight ... I was walking back to Lincoln Hall from Gamertsfelder Hall, where I was visiting Lauren and Jenn. There was a genuine, honest-to-goodness thunderstorm making itself well heard. East Green Street was flooded in front of both Bush and Shively Halls, as usual.

I know a couple posts back I whined about the heat. Boy, should I watch my mouth! It's actually supposed to snow - snow - on Sunday. That would be, Sunday, APRIL 24. LOL, maybe if this keeps up, I'll get snow on my birthday! That would be ... a first. Yeah.

For the "better news" file, it looks like Rome is getting more likely. My dad called today to complain about how he has no money, and then, after taking me through a detailed explanation of the horrific state of his finances, he said, "You have to get a passport." That is his style, he is big on guilt ;)

So I felt really rotten after hearing how much he owes for my college. But it looks like he wants to go to Europe anyway ... of course, he wants to spend lots of time in Austria with his folks, while me and Betsy and Mother want to spend allll our time in Rome, or at least in Italy, which is where de action is! ;) We should probably let him spend at least a couple days in Austria; when he was young he used to go all the time to see his aunts and uncles and cousins.

I think they live in Vienna. That wouldn't be so bad ... We could try to attend Mass with Cardinal Schonborn ... And we would stay with them (no hotel fee! Hurray! Screams Dad) ... And they are technically close family, at least in terms of bloodlines. I know I wouldn't like not seeing my first cousins for years and years. (Ha ha, I haven't seen my Aunt Cay's sons in eons!)

My grandma, Oma, the one who always called the dorm last year and asked for me in that funny accent, is, herself, the grand-daughter of an Austrian baroness; I think Mom and Dad want to see if they can find the baronial palace of Rudolf Sohinga de Rostenfeld. What for? To take possession of it? LOL! I don't think there are any de Rostenfelds left. Oma is the daughter of the daughter of the Baron's daughter, soooo I'm thinking there were lots of males in line ahead of her. So, it is probably in the hands of another family. And I can really be a monster when I'm jealous, in spite of all my attempts to behave like a Christian. Graaaaaar! Rich people with nice lives! ;)

The Holy Father is a cat person!

By which I mean, one who likes cats. And awww, this article makes him sound so cute. (Read the entire article here.)

REGENSBURG, Germany - When he was a cardinal, Pope Benedict XVI often delivered sermons at the German-language church in Campasanto Teutonico near St. Peter's Basilica, but his most heartfelt talks may have been the ones he gave after celebrating Mass.

"I went with him once," said Konrad Baumgartner, the head of the theology department at Regensburg University. "Afterwards, he went into the old cemetery behind the church.

"It was full of cats, and when he went out, they all ran to him. They knew him and loved him. He stood there, petting some and talking to them, for quite a long time. He visited the cats whenever he visited the church. His love for cats is quite famous."

Although his public image is that of a stern enforcer of church doctrine, in Regensburg, where the 78-year-old pope came into his own as a theologian, those who know the man known as "God's Rottweiler" say his soft, human side has been ignored.

The pope loves cats, can't resist Christmas cookies and, three months ago, waxed on about how he dreamed of retiring from the hectic life at the Vatican to enjoy his last years reading, writing and talking with friends.

...

When he was younger, Benedict XVI hiked in the Tyrol mountains to relax. As he grew older and had less time and energy, he tended the magnolia tree outside his house, cleaned the fountain under the statue of Mary and thinned out the ivy.

Agnes Heindl has been Georg Ratzinger's housekeeper for 10 years, and she's come to know the new pope well.

She said she often drove then-Cardinal Ratzinger to his house after the brothers had shared Sunday dinner. His favorite foods were Weisswurst - the traditional white Bavarian sausage - and anything sweet. She said he's known for trying every type of Christmas cookie at a party.

"Oh, he could just talk about anything, really," she said. "He liked to talk about friends and how people he knew were doing. He's a very pleasant man to have a conversation with."

She clutched 16 Benedict roses, white, as she talked.

"Maybe if I can't get the flowers to him, someone will take a picture of them, and he'll see that we're thinking of him," she said.

She spoke with him again this week. He called on Wednesday morning, after getting busy signals at his brother's house Tuesday night. When she answered, a well-known voice said: "Can I please speak to my brother."

"The Holy Father called, and all I could do was stammer, `So how do I address you now?' He laughed," she said.

She said she's glad she heard him laugh. His new job isn't easy, and he'll need to laugh. She said that when he was relaxing, there was never a mystery about what would make him laugh.

"Oh, cats," she said. " He loves them."

She pointed up a staircase to a wall full of painted plates, each depicting a different cat. The brothers collected the plates together, she said.

"When we were on vacation, a cat, a little kitten, would come by, and he'd be giddy, almost giggling with joy," she said." Cats love him; they always go to him straight away. And he loves them back."

He doesn't have a cat, however. Heindl doesn't think he can have one living in the Vatican.

"He was always content to play with the street cats," she said. "I don't know much about Rome, but I know there's no shortage of cats there."

Benedict still owns the house he bought on the edge of Regensburg in 1970, but he visits only a couple times a year. The city adjusted his deed this week: It now lists the owner as "Holy Father."

On Thursday afternoon, Chico the cat - perhaps the closest thing there is to The Pope's Cat, strolled from the shaded arch between the pope's front door and his garage. Chico belongs to Rupert Hofbauer, who looks after Benedict's garden and home.

"Chico is his friend, though he scratched him over Christmas because he didn't want to go outside, all day or night, and the cardinal tried to put him out," Hofbauer said. "They usually get along well, though."

Hofbauer and many others in Regensburg, where the new pope remains on the faculty rolls, shared mixed emotions, pride and sorrow, when they heard the news. Georg Ratzinger said he almost feels as if he's lost his brother, knowing that it won't be easy to see him now.

"I thought he'd retire soon, and we would finally have a lot of time to finish all the talks we've started through the years. We talked about that, just this Christmas when he was home," Hofbauer said.

"He thought it sounded nice, to retire, to take it easy. That's not how it worked out though, is it?"

Velly Velly Interesting

When is the temperature gonna drop a little bit? It got up to about 80 degrees today. All this sunlight is giving me a headache. Lol, whiiiine, whiiiiine ;)

I am once again slipping into Lazy Mode. Argh.

Newsflash: Benedict likes to use the Papal "We." I was looking at the homily that Benedict gave in his first Mass in the Sistine Chapel, concelebrated with the College of Cardinals. He delievered it in Latin. If you examine the Latin original, which you can see here on the Vatican website, you will see that Benedict uses the papal, royal "We" which is mistranslated in the version I posted below. For instance, where the transcript has him saying, "In my soul there are two contrasting sentiments," he ACTUALLY said, "In Our soul, there are two contrasting sentiments." Similarly, "On the other hand I sense within me" is correctly rendered, "On the other hand We sense within Us." If you look at the Latin, you can see the Nostrum, Nos, Nobis parts of speech used. And they're all capitalized! It's an unusual form of speech which was used by all the popes before John Paul II. So this is a little return to tradition :)

Excerpts from Benedict's Homily

Which he delivered in the Sistine Chapel. See the whole thing in English, here, if you wanna. Or see the original Latin here. Oooo, a homily delivered in Latin! Very old-school ;)

"Grace and peace in abundance to all of you! In my soul there are two contrasting sentiments in these hours. On the one hand, a sense of inadequacy and human turmoil for the responsibility entrusted to me yesterday as the Successor of the Apostle Peter in this See of Rome, with regard to the Universal Church. On the other hand I sense within me profound gratitude to God Who - as the liturgy makes us sing - does not abandon His flock, but leads it throughout time, under the guidance of those whom He has chosen as vicars of His Son, and made pastors.

"Dear Ones, this intimate recognition for a gift of divine mercy prevails in my heart in spite of everything. I consider this a grace obtained for me by my venerated predecessor, John Paul II. It seems I can feel his strong hand squeezing mine; I seem to see his smiling eyes and listen to his words, addressed to me especially at this moment: 'Do not be afraid!'

"The death of the Holy Father John Paul II, and the days which followed, were for the Church and for the entire world an extraordinary time of grace. The great pain for his death and the void that it left in all of us were tempered by the action of the Risen Christ, which showed itself during long days in the choral wave of faith, love and spiritual solidarity, culminating in his solemn funeral.

...

"Surprising every prevision I had, Divine Providence, through the will of the venerable Cardinal Fathers, called me to succeed this great Pope. I have been thinking in these hours about what happened in the region of Cesarea of Phillippi two thousand years ago: I seem to hear the words of Peter: 'You are Christ, the Son of the living God,' and the solemn affirmation of the Lord: 'You are Peter and on this rock I will build my Church ... I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven'.

"You are Christ! You are Peter! It seems I am reliving this very Gospel scene; I, the Successor of Peter, repeat with trepidation the anxious words of the fisherman from Galilee and I listen again with intimate emotion to the reassuring promise of the divine Master. If the weight of the responsibility that now lies on my poor shoulders is enormous, the divine power on which I can count is surely immeasurable: 'You are Peter and on this rock I will build my Church'. Electing me as the Bishop of Rome, the Lord wanted me as his Vicar, he wished me to be the 'rock' upon which everyone may rest with confidence. I ask him to make up for the poverty of my strength, that I may be a courageous and faithful pastor of His flock, always docile to the inspirations of His Spirit.

"I undertake this special ministry, the 'Petrine' ministry at the service of the Universal Church, with humble abandon to the hands of the Providence of God. And it is to Christ in the first place that I renew my total and trustworthy adhesion: 'In Te, Domine, speravi; non confundar in aeternum!'

...

"Before my eyes is, in particular, the witness of Pope John Paul II. He leaves us a Church that is more courageous, freer, younger. A Church that, according to his teaching and example, looks with serenity to the past and is not afraid of the future. With the Great Jubilee the Church was introduced into the new millennium carrying in her hands the Gospel, applied to the world through the authoritative re-reading of Vatican Council II. Pope John Paul II justly indicated the Council as a 'compass' with which to orient ourselves in the vast ocean of the third millennium. Also in his spiritual testament he noted: ' I am convinced that for a very long time the new generations will draw upon the riches that this council of the 20th century gave us'.

"I too, as I start in the service that is proper to the Successor of Peter, wish to affirm with force my decided will to pursue the commitment to enact Vatican Council II, in the wake of my predecessors and in faithful continuity with the millennia-old tradition of the Church. Precisely this year is the 40th anniversary of the conclusion of this conciliar assembly (December 8, 1965). With the passing of time, the conciliar documents have not lost their timeliness; their teachings have shown themselves to be especially pertinent to the new exigencies of the Church and the present globalized society.

...

"The Eucharist makes the Risen Christ constantly present, Christ Who continues to give Himself to us, calling us to participate in the banquet of His Body and His Blood. From this full communion with Him comes every other element of the life of the Church, in the first place the communion among the faithful, the commitment to proclaim and give witness to the Gospel, the ardor of charity towards all, especially towards the poor and the smallest.

...

"The current Successor of Peter feels himself to be personally implicated in this question and is disposed to do all in his power to promote the fundamental cause of ecumenism. In the wake of his predecessors, he is fully determined to cultivate any initiative that may seem appropriate to promote contact and agreement with representatives from the various Churches and ecclesial communities. Indeed, on this occasion too, he sends them his most cordial greetings in Christ, the one Lord of all.

"In this moment, I go back in my memory to the unforgettable experience we all underwent with the death and the funeral of the lamented John Paul II. Around his mortal remains, lying on the bare earth, leaders of nations gathered, with people from all social classes and especially the young, in an unforgettable embrace of affection and admiration. The entire world looked to him with trust. To many it seemed as if that intense participation, amplified to the confines of the planet by the social communications media, was like a choral request for help addressed to the Pope by modern humanity which, wracked by fear and uncertainty, questions itself about the future.

...

"In support of this promise, I invoke the maternal intercession of Mary Most Holy, in whose hands I place the present and the future of my person and of the Church. May the Holy Apostles Peter and Paul, and all the saints, also intercede.

"With these sentiments I impart to you venerated brother cardinals, to those participating in this ritual, and to all those following to us by television and radio, a special and affectionate blessing."

In case you didn't know

Benedict XVI was a theological advisor at Vatican II. So if anyone tells you, "Oh, that arch-conservative fascist, turning back Vatican II!" you can say, "Naaa aaaah!! He was there! He was a huge influence!"

Then-Fr. Joseph Ratzinger at the Second Vatican Council:

I don't know what to say

I am really, really elated. It will be so strange to say Benedict XVI instead of John Paul II, but I think I will get used to it. This is how much of a dork I am; I think this actually counts as the happiest day of my life. Or the happiest one I can remember, anyway! The only unfortunate thing is that the Holy Father is already 78, so he won't have a 26 year pontificate like John Paul II.

How wonderful he is, though. I am sure he will do wonders for the Church.

I skipped my psychology class to watch the announcement; first they opened the balcony doors, and let down the red curtains. Then the Cardinal Deacon doing the announcing came out from between the drapes. He kept PAUSING. When he said "Josephum" my mind raced trying to think of any other Cardinals named Joseph. And then, after another pause (which felt like it lasted ten minutes) the Cardinal Deacon said, "Ratzinger, who takes for himself the name Benedict XVI." Joy! I was actually dancing around in my dorm room. That is the definition of dorkdum! Which label I happily will accept! :) Then the Holy Father came out and gave his blessing, urbi et orbi. Today is a happy day; even my speech went well; I was just kind of on a high from the announcement. Hurray!

Sorry I'm so giddy!

LONG LIVE BENEDICT XVI

I almost forgot

Please, please PRAY for the Cardinal-Electors, that they pay attention to the Holy Spirit and make the right decision.

Hoooooo

Well, I don't want to jinx anything. But I've been talking to my dad, and me and la famille might might might be going to Rome this summer. Of course that's going to be terribly expensive, but you know me ... I like to live on the edge. Of insolvency. And so does my dad ;) Nottttt ... But anyway, we all think it would be a nice gesture to go see John Paul II's tomb, and to pay our respects to the new Holy Father, whomever that might be.

Speaking of which, perhaps you've noticed I haven't said much about the conclave. Black smoke went up in the first vote today, as expected. I am not going to blog much about it, though, because I really don't want to buy into the media characterizations of it as a horse race. It's not a political thing, it's a spiritual event! But the press isn't gonna get that any time soon ...

I get the impression that the black smoke/white smoke drama is just making all those 24 hour cable news outlets salivate. Drool, drool. ;)

I'm also avoiding posting about the conclave because for some reason, I'm really, really nevous about it. The Lord will protect His Church, I know. It's just excitement, probably :)

Procrastination, procrastination

I really don't want to write that Andorra speech.

A couple weeks ago in my new Introduction to Fine Arts class - I switched to the 10 AM class instead of the 8 AM class, so as to preserve both my sanity and my life - the professor, who is obviously a feminist, started in with Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. This novel has something to do with the philosophy of art, how? Oh yes, we can look at The Last Supper on the PowerPoint screen for about an hour while she rants on and on and on. What I found amusing was that the professor had seized on a mystery story as a basis for her latest theory. Of course, she "backed it up" with the Gnostic gospels ... "real documents!" blah blah blah.

Imagine this: Suppose that this morning, Rush Limbaugh writes a long, viscous screed about how all Democrats, all of them secret Communists, are conspiring to destroy 21st century America. His point of view would be dismissed; when historians write about our era, his version of events would not be included. Because it simply isn't true. They're not all that bad ;)

But, let's say two thousand years pass, and some far-right extremist makes an amazing archeological discovery: Limbaugh's essay, a copy of which has survived the millennia! Then some loonies would no doubt run around claiming: "Look! This document is from that very era, and this is what it says really happened! The version in the history books was written by a bunch of people trying to conceal the truth! All Dems are commies, all Dems are commies!"

Ridiculous, eh? But that is what people try to do with the Gnostic gospels. That is how they get the "Mary Magdalene was married to Jesus!" B.S. I have even met some "Christians" who believe this stuff, which is amusing (or shall I say, disturbing) since Gnosticism is a heresy condemned in the second century - and thus rejected by all Christians, Catholics and Protestants alike. (Let me know if anyone wants to see some web links about it!)

Why do otherwise intelligent people swallow this load? Because it "fits" with the agenda. While philosophically it's almost a logical certainty to give the benefit of the doubt to the idea that the original compilers of the Bible knew what was true and what was outlandish, anti-Establishment, feminist partisans will still insist on a vast, elaborate, centuries-spanning patriarchal conspiracy to silence the feminine voice.

Argh.

Of course, you could take the point of view (which many of them do) that history is a fabrication of those in power; the feminine voice was silenced, as it has been throughout history, because the powerful men wanted it that way. There is no "true" history, there is only the version we have been fed by history's winners. Of course, if this is the case, it sort of destroys the argument for going on living. If history is a farce, then man becomes a ridiculous creature, even to himself. And there is really no point to studying art history, is there? Or history in general? Or studying or doing anything, actually, since the "truth" of whatever we do will simply be distorted to fit the agenda of the powerful.

Obviously, I consider this perspective to be Insane, with a capital I. Although I sure would like an excuse not to do that Andorra speech ... ;)

Oh blah blah blah

I went to Mass, Adoration and Confession tonight at St. Paul's. Very lovely evening, but now I've got to get to work, and I don't want to, at all. Blah. Now, what's the best way we can think of to avoid work? Think, think. Oh yes. There is that addictive-after-the-style-of-powder-cocaine Helicpoter Game, which I had mercifully forgotten but which was "helpfully" IM'd to me by Lauren, he he ;) My latest score was 4795, an all-time high for me. Could it be that I am getting better? I will have to go play it for an hour, to test this hypothesis ...

Hooooraaaah

My template is almost all back to normal. I can't find anything still wrong with it. I'm sure one of my readers will let me know if I've missed anything ... ;)

Oh, look what I found:

To quote a Freeper - "Baptist preacher to Catholics: MY Jesus is better than YOUR Jesus!" Not quite what the preacher said. But pretty much:



That's "No Truth No Hope Following a Hell-bound Pope"

Read the article. Grosses me out.

Pope-U-Lator

The Pope-U-Lator uses a database of the 117 voting Cardinals and allows YOU to decide what you think is important to them in choosing the next Pope. Mark any of the items below as you estimate their importance for the Cardinals' decision.

Tee hee. There is also the Name-u-Lator. What name should the next Pope take?

Of course, the "proper" answer to the first question is: Whomever the Holy Spirit chooses :)

Ohhhh my my

I really need to go to Confession. I'm driving myself crazy ... I have this tendency to scrupulosity, you know?

I probably spelled "scrupulosity" wrong, but I'm too tired to look it up ...

This week is almost over; next week, I have to give an informative speech in my Public Speaking class. Specifically, an informative speech on Andorra. Yes, all ye who went through Hudson School District French classes, that Andorra, the little principality shoved between France and Spain. Why did I pick such a lousy topic? Well, it had to be on a country outside North America, and I thought I would be ... quirky.

Incidentally, I had to give an impromptu speech on Thursday on the question, "If you could go back to any time in history, what would it be and why?" I could not think of anything, except that James Dean killed himself and how sad that was. So I went up there and said, "If I could go back to any time in history, it would be when James Dean committed suicide. Because he was too good-looking to die so young." Etc.

Not to the little old Council of Trent. Not to the Resurrection. Not to Creation. I said I would go back to James Dean's Appointment With Death, So As To Save His Handsome Face and His Massive Movie Talent. Oh how shallow ...

Shucks.

I just failed a psychology exam, I think. Ouch. I certainly hope I will do better on the next tests ...

Here's a pretty painting, yet another Bouguereau pretty close to "The Virgin of the Lillies," but slightly different - The Seated Madonna.

Excuse the dust

As perhaps you have noticed, my template recently went kaboom. I'm working on getting the html all back in order, but thanks to my trial-and-error style, it could take awhile to get it totally back to where it should be. At least the "blogger" part is on the right side of the page now.

And in case you were wondering, no, I have no idea how I did this. Maybe my "destructive genius" took over while I was sleeping ... and I crept over to the computer ... and wreaked havoc ...

That would be in keeping with my personality, wouldn't it!?

Very, very good read

I would recommend taking just a minute to read all of this, at this link here, if you are at all a spiritual person - or even if you're not! The ending in particular is beautiful. John Paul wrote it from 1979 to 2000, when he apparently stopped making entries. The dates are recorded in European fashion, with the day first - so, for instance, the first date below is March 6, 1979. "Totus Tuus ego sum," by the way, is (was) John Paul's motto; it means, "I am all yours," and is addressed to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Now some people would probably go ahhhhhh! Those Catholics with their Mariolotry! But not anyone reading this blog. Because anyone reading this blog has already read St. Louis De Montfort's True Devotion to Mary and knows all about To-Jesus-Through-Mary spirituality, don't they? He he :)

These are just excerpts that I have here. When you get to them in the text, the words "In manus tuas, Domine, commendo spiritum meum" mean "Into your hands, Lord, I commend my spirit" which are the last words Our Lord spoke from the Cross. I would also note that although the media practically blew a gasket reporting that "John Paul considered resigning!" if you read what he said in context, it is clear he intended to stay until God called him home. He was simply speculating that his last hour was drawing near.

John Paul's Last Will and Testament

The testament of 6.3.1979 (and successive additions)

"Totus Tuus ego sum"

In the Name of the Most Holy Trinity. Amen.

"Watch therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming" (cf. Mt 24, 42) - these words remind me of the last call, which will happen at the moment the Lord wishes. I desire to follow Him, and I desire that everything making up part of my earthly life should prepare me for this moment. I do not know when the moment will come, but like everything else, I place it too in the hands of the Mother of my Master: Totus Tuus. In the same maternal Hands I leave everything and everyone with whom my life and vocation have linked me. In these Hands I leave, above all, the Church, as well as my Nation and all humanity. I thank everyone. Of everyone I ask forgiveness. I also ask for prayer, that the Mercy of God may appear greater than my weakness and unworthiness.

During the spiritual exercises I re-read the testament of the Holy Father Paul VI. That reading prompted me to write this testament.

I leave no property behind me of which it is necessary to dispose. As for the everyday objects that were of use to me, I ask they be distributed as seems appropriate. My personal notes are to be burned. I ask that this be attended to by Fr. Stanislaw, whom I thank for his collaboration and help, so prolonged over the years and so understanding. As for all other thanks, I leave them in my heart before God Himself, because it is difficult to express them.

As for the funeral, I repeat the same dispositions as were given by the Holy Father Paul VI. (Here is a note in the margin: burial in the bare earth, not in a sarcophagus, 13.3.92).

"apud Dominum misericordia
et copiosa apud Eum redemptio"

John Paul pp. II

Rome, 6.III.1979

After my death I ask for Masses and prayers.

5.III.1990

I express my profound trust that, despite all my weakness, the Lord will grant me all the grace necessary to face according to His will any task, trial or suffering that He will ask of His servant, in the course of his life. I also trust that He will never allow me - through some attitude of mine: words, deeds or omissions - to betray my obligations in this holy Petrine See.

Undated sheet of paper

24.II - 1.III.1980

Also during these spiritual exercises, I have reflected on the truth of the Priesthood of Christ in the perspective of that Transit that for each of us is the moment of our own death. For us the Resurrection of Christ is an eloquent (added above: decisive) sign of departing from this world - to be born in the next, in the future world.

I have read, then, the copy of my testament from last year, also written during the spiritual exercises - I compared it with the testament of my great predecessor and Father, Paul VI, with that sublime witness to death of a Christian and a Pope - and I have renewed within me an awareness of the questions to which the copy of 6.III.1979 refers, prepared by me (in a somewhat provisional way).

Today I wish to add only this: that each of us must bear in mind the prospect of death. And must be ready to present himself before the Lord and Judge - Who is at the same time Redeemer and Father. I too continually take this into consideration, entrusting that decisive moment to the Mother of Christ and of the Church - to the Mother of my hope.

The times in which we live are unutterably difficult and disturbed. The path of the Church has also become difficult and tense, a characteristic trial of these times - both for the Faithful and for Pastors. In some Countries (as, for example, in those about which I read during the spiritual exercises), the Church is undergoing a period of such persecution as to be in no way lesser than that of early centuries, indeed it surpasses them in its degree of cruelty and hatred. "Sanguis martyrum - semen christianorum.". And apart from this - many people die innocently even in this Country in which we are living.

Once again, I wish to entrust myself totally to the Lord's grace. He Himself will decide when and how I must end my earthly life and pastoral ministry. In life and in death, Totus Tuus in Mary Immaculate. Accepting that death, even now, I hope that Christ will give me the grace for the final passage, in other words (my) Easter. I also hope that He makes (that death) useful for this more important cause that I seek to serve: the salvation of men and women, the safeguarding of the human family and, in that, of all nations and all peoples (among them, I particularly address my earthly Homeland), and useful for the people with whom He particularly entrusted me, for the question of the Church, for the glory of God Himself.

I do not wish to add anything to what I wrote a year ago - only to express this readiness and, at the same time, this trust, to which the current spiritual exercises have again disposed me.

John Paul II

Totus Tuus ego sum

...


Spiritual exercise of the Jubilee Year 2000 (12-18.III)
(for my testament)

...

2. As the Jubilee Year progressed, day by day the 20th century closes behind us and the 21st century opens. According to the plans of Divine Providence I was allowed to live in the difficult century that is retreating into the past, and now, in the year in which my life reaches 80 years ('octogesima adveniens'), it is time to ask oneself if it is not the time to repeat with the biblical Simeone 'nunc dimittis'.

On May 13, 1981, the day of the attack on the Pope during the general audience in St. Peter's Square, Divine Providence saved me in a miraculous way from death. The One Who is the Only Lord of life and death Himself prolonged my life, in a certain way He gave it to me again. From that moment it belonged to Him even more. I hope He will help me to recognize up to what point I must continue this service to which I was called on October 16, 1978. I ask him to call me back when He Himself wishes. 'In life and in death we belong to the Lord ... we are the Lord's. (cf. Rm 14,8). I also hope that, as long as I am called to fulfill the Petrine service in the Church, the Mercy of God will give me the necessary strength for this service.

3. As I do every year during spiritual exercises I read my testament from 6-III-1979. I continue to maintain the dispositions contained in this text. What then, and even during successive spiritual exercises, has been added constitutes a reflection of the difficult and tense general situation which marked the Eighties. From autumn of the year 1989 this situation changed. The last decade of the century was free of the previous tensions; that does not mean that it did not bring with it new problems and difficulties. In a special way may Divine Providence be praised for this, that the period of the so-called 'cold war' ended without violent nuclear conflict, the danger of which weighed on the world in the preceding period.

4. Being on the threshold of the third millennium "in medio Ecclesiae" I wish once again to express gratitude to the Holy Spirit for the great gift of Vatican Council II, to which, together with the entire Church - and above all the entire episcopacy - I feel indebted. I am convinced that for a long time to come the new generations will draw upon the riches that this Council of the 20th century gave us. As a bishop who participated in this conciliar event from the first to the last day, I wish to entrust this great patrimony to all those who are and who will be called in the future to realize it. For my part I thank the eternal Pastor Who allowed me to serve this very great cause during the course of all the years of my pontificate.

"In medio Ecclesiae".... from the first years of my service as a bishop - precisely thanks to the Council - I was able to experience the fraternal communion of the Episcopacy. As a priest of the archdiocese of Krakow I experienced the fraternal communion among priests - and the Council opened a new dimension to this experience.

5. How many people should I list! Probably the Lord God has called to Himself the majority of them - as to those who are still on this side, may the words of this testament recall them, everyone and everywhere, wherever they are.

During the more than 20 years that I am fulfilling the Petrine service "in medio Ecclesiae" I have experienced the benevolence and even more the fecund collaboration of so many cardinals, archbishops and bishops, so many priests, so many consecrated persons - brothers and sisters - and, lastly, so very, very many lay persons, within the Curia, in the vicariate of the diocese of Rome, as well as outside these milieux.

How can I not embrace with grateful memory all the bishops of the world whom I have met in "ad limina Apostolorum" visits! How can I not recall so many non-Catholic Christian brothers! And the rabbi of Rome and so many representatives of non -Christian religions! And how many representatives of the world of culture, science, politics, and of the means of social communication!

6. As the end of my life approaches I return with my memory to the beginning, to my parents, to my brother, to the sister (I never knew because she died before my birth), to the parish in Wadowice, where I was baptized, to that city I love, to my peers, friends from elementary school, high school and the university, up to the time of the occupation when I was a worker, and then in the parish of Niegowic, then St. Florian's in Krakow, to the pastoral ministry of academics, to the milieu of....to all milieux....to Krakow and to Rome....to the people who were entrusted to me in a special way by the Lord.

To all I want to say just one thing: "May God reward you."

"In manus tuas, Domine, commendo spiritum meum."

A.D. 17.III.2000

Oh, blah

Well, I didn't get to go to Confession and Eucharistic Adoration tonight like I wanted to. I got dressed up and went to church and everything, and they weren't having it for some reason. Bleh. I'm not in a state of mortal sin or anything, I just wanted to get some venial stuff off my chest. Oh well, it can wait 'till next week.

I also went shopping today with Lyndsey. I got two new tops, new shoes, and a new skirt. They are all very nice, and I really like the shoes - they are sandals, and I really can't wear the closed-toed heels in the heat - but they were starting to cut into my foot a little bit on the way home. Argh! I tried them on and everything, and they fit fine! Oh well ... Maybe my skin just needs to toughen up a little bit. Lyndsey got a skirt and some new make-up. I liked being around for the make-up purchase! I've never been to a Clinique Counter, complete with girl-in-lab-coat!

Unfortunately I have not gotten anything done this weekend so far. I don't know why, but I am in full Lazy Mode. And once I get into Lazy Mode, it is extremely difficult to get me out of it. The other bad news is that my mother keeps calling me on her cell phone. She just got a free weekends plan, so no doubt that is going to become a regular feature every Friday through Sunday. Don't get the wrong idea, I love my mother, and I like hearing from her ... But ... Every single day ... For three days ... In which we discuss ... Absolutely nothing ... For an hour ...

I'm Back

I guess my blog hiatus is over today; Papa's funeral was at 10 o'clock Roman time, 4 o'clock Eastern United States time. I stayed up to watch it, of course! It would have perhaps been wiser to go to bed early and then get up for the Mass. Anyway, the Mass was incredibly moving. I kept flipping between Fox News and MSNBC; MSNBC had Archbishop John Foley, who has a "social communications" position in the Vatican, doing translations, so his were much better than the start-stop translation provided by Fox. However, MSNBC, I believe, had the insufferable Chris Matthews as a commentator, and at any rate, everyone on that channel kept talking over the Sistine Choir. So I mostly kept it to Fox.

The Sistine Choir, by the way, was lovely. I still have the "Credo, Credo, Aaaaaamen," stuck in my head. The Litany of the Saints was also sung very hauntingly. Cardinal Ratzinger - always my favorite - was singing the Requiem Mass; his homily was beautiful - he talked about John Paul looking down from the Father's window and blessing the crowds gathered.

Speaking of which, I have never seen such a huge mass of people! Shepard Smith on Fox also noted that about 2 billion people were watching on TV, which made it the most watched television event in history.

I was pretty good about keeping my cool all through the liturgy. But at the end, when the pallbearers held the coffin up a bit diagonally so that all the people could see it for one last time before they carried it into the Basilica, I just sort of went all sobby. Not just weepy, but total sobby! The choir was singing so beautifully just then, and it really is good-bye forever ... Well, good-bye until the Resurrection, I guess. I saw some bishops waving good-bye to the Holy Father as he entered St. Peter's basilica for the last time.

The good news is that, first, John Paul is almost certainly in Heaven and we can ask him to pray for us at the throne of Our Lord. Some of the people in the crowd were carrying signs that said, "Santo Subito!" Which means, "Make him a saint!" Of course, recorded and confirmed miracles are required as proof of intercession before a saint can be cannonized; and a saint can't intercede for us if we don't ask! So from now on, when you are in need, be sure to include in your prayers, "John Paul, please pray for me and ask God to help me."

The other good news is that I think I am "better" now. A funeral always provides closure, I think, and that little "sobby" period got everything out, lol. I will never forget the Holy Father, though. He was a wonderful Christian, and a father to me, as well.

Oh Papa :(

Pontiff Shows Signs of Losing Consciousness
By VICTOR L. SIMPSON, AP


VATICAN CITY (April 2) - Pope John Paul II showed the first signs of losing consciousness at dawn on Saturday, the Vatican said, as priests around the world prepared the Roman Catholic faithful for his passing.

But John Paul, 84, was not in a coma and opened his eyes when spoken to, papal spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls said.

The pope's health began deteriorating Thursday after he suffered a urinary tract infection. In its latest statement the Vatican, which earlier described his heart and kidneys as failing, said his condition was unchanged and ''very grave.''
Navarro-Valls said the pope was still speaking late Friday but did not take part when Mass was celebrated in his presence Saturday morning.

''Since dawn this morning there have been first signs that consciousness is being affected,'' he said.

''Sometimes it seems as if he were resting with his eyes closed, but when you speak to him, he opens his eyes,'' Navarro-Valls said.

He said aides had told the pope that thousands of young people were in St. Peter's Square on Friday evening. Navarro-Valls said the pope appeared to be referring to them when he seemed to say: '''I have looked for you. Now you have come to me. And I thank you.'''

Vatican cardinal Achille Silvestrini visited John Paul Saturday morning, accompanied by another cardinal, Jean-Louis Tauran.
''I found him relaxed, placid, serene. He was in his bed. He was breathing without labor. He looked like he lost weight,'' Silvestrini said.

He said the when he and Tauran came into the room, the pope seemed to recognize them.
''The pope showed with a vibration of his face that he understood, indicating with a movement of his eyes. He showed he was reacting,'' he added.
...

One of the pope's closest aides, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, was quoted Saturday as saying that when he saw the pontiff on Friday morning, John Paul was ''aware that he is passing to the Lord.''

The pope ''gave me the final farewell,'' the news agency of the Italian bishops conference quoted the German cardinal as saying Friday night.

A workman in the square, declining to give his name, told The Associated Press that crews were taking down the canopy on the steps of St. Peter's Basilica, which had covered an altar during Easter Sunday Mass. They said they had orders to clear the space for when the pope's coffin eventually is carried into the square.

...

The Il Secolo XIX newspaper of Genoa reported that the pope, with the help of his private secretary Archbishop Stanislaw Dziwisz, wrote a note to his aides urging them not to weep for him.

''I am happy, and you should be as well,'' the note reportedly said. ''Let us pray together with joy.''

...

Cardinal Marcio Francesco Pompedda, a high-ranking Vatican administrator, visited the pope Friday morning and said he opened his eyes and smiled.

''I understood he recognized me. It was a wonderful smile - I'll remember it forever. It was a benevolent smile - a father-like smile,'' Pompedda told RAI television. He told the Milan daily Il Giornale the pope was lying in bed propped up by pillows, and twice tried but failed to say something.

''There were various tubes, and an intravenous drip, but I confess that I didn't dwell on these details,'' said Pompedda, adding that the pope appeared to be ''suffering but serene.''

...

Dr. Gianni Angelini, a professor of cardiac surgery at Bristol University in England, said the chances of an elderly person in John Paul's condition surviving septic shock more than 48 hours was no more than 20 percent, ''but that would be in an intensive care unit with very aggressive treatment.''

Link.

PRAY FOR THE POPE